Boy Does The Wren’s Nest Have a Lot to Say — Twitter Round-up #4

Twitter round-ups are back!

Take a gander at who the Wren’s Nest (as in, the house itself) has been verbally assaulting lately.  Be sure to follow @thewrensnest on Twitter for the full experience.  You won’t be disappointed.  Unless, of course, you hate hilarity.

Onward!

• For the record, I found TYLER PERRY’S HOUSE OF PAYNE to be terribly misleading.

• Maybe y’all call it Christmas decorating, but I call it gilding the lily.

• A 1977 city guide classified me as “other things” and called my docents “pleasant ladies.”  I give a C+ for effort.

• What’s the proper protocol on a child left here? Is she mine now? Because I could really use an extra set of opposable thumbs.

• Looks like @insideaccess has been chronicling my cronies of late.  How cute. I suppose everyone deserves their 15 minutes.

• Folks may poo-poo elective surgeries, but my bathroom remodel is DIVINE. I haven’t felt this good since 1932!

• I feel a little violated every time a gaggle of English professors visits. What with their drooling and their penetrating eyes.

• The Herndon Home kinda reminds me of myself 3 years ago. I wish that were a compliment.

• The children in my east parlor have never heard anything as hilarious as our storyteller. I’m worried one of them is going to soil my floor.

• Good news: my bathroom’s finally getting re-done. Bad news: the painter says “this place” is full of ghosts. Uh, I have a name, okay guy?

• If Briar Patch cigars wasn’t filled with flammable cigars, I would want to be best friends.  I, too, feel like home!

• There’s a canine beast in my office. Its name appears to be Captain. As a pacifist and non-seaman, I object on principle.

• I’m in a podcast! I think that means an alien version of me will emerge when I fall asleep. Not worried. I don’t sleep.

• Do you lie awake at night wondering what PAUL BLART: MALL COP would look like in my backyard? Feast your eyes!

• Scholar settles claim with James Joyce Estate. Good thing Harris descendants keep their grubby lil hands away from me!  Wait.

• There’s a wedding in my yard today. They better not disturb the delicate equilibrium I’ve established with the woodland creatures.

• If George Thorogood preferred Brer Rabbit to bourbon, scotch, and beer, he mighta sung this song instead:

• To the man who seriously asked, “How did people live in the South before air conditioning?” — your answer.

• Miss Nannie, one of the docents, brought her remote control today instead of her keys. What the hell is a remote control?

• When perfectly useful stadiums are replaced, it reminds you that not only old farts like me need preservin’.